This is my 100th entry, I didn’t think I would be posting 100 entries in 5 months (that’s practically 20 entires a month). This was also posted exactly 5 months after I posted the very first entry, I honestly didn’t think I would be using it this much but I’m happy that I have an outlet where I could express myself. With 10 revival stories and 4 incomplete entries that I never finished that means I have written 86 entries up to this point, I really didn’t think I’d make this many this fast but when you feel like you have no one to talk to at times where else are you supposed to go? No lying, no embellishing, no shaming on anyone else, just sticking to my experiences and my errors as a man from the last 6 months up to now.
I know the start of this blog started a little rough, I was still heartbroken from the split in the beginning. There are some entries I wish I had written with a better mindset like “hemisphere”, “IX”, and “The 6th Days” but I’m proud of myself for having to express those thoughts at such an emotionally difficult time. I’m also proud of myself for not speaking out of anger when it came to writing these entries (maybe with “exit 65” but that was only because I was angry with myself), frustrated at best and if I did feel agitated while writing these entries I would wait until it passed so I could attempt to write it again (a few entries had this method). As dangerous as this is to confess, I did enjoy writing the "pitch" series because for a moment I could write about the imagination I had for our future that I wish we had. Shockingly, "analyze them" is still the most viewed entry out of everything I have written in the past 5 months. When I had my old blog 15 years ago I would look forward to coming home and write whatever was on my mind and doing this again 15 years later has been just as exciting as it was when I started journaling. I don't know what got into me in January but I had this bug in me to keep writing and writing, at this current moment I want to call that my peak. I’m not sure what the next 100 will hold (if I even make that many), but I would like to write more about acceptance and forgiveness. But we’ll see what the future will hold, wish me luck on that one.
I would like to conclude this last paragraph with a little bit of appreciation, I want to say thank you. Thank you to whoever is reading this right now and to myself, for taking a few moments of your day to take a deeper look into my thoughts. Thank you for going back to an old passion that you thought was forgotten, it helped me get a lot of emotions and thoughts out of my chest. Thank you for having the courage to be honest about your faults, I’m not perfect and that’s how I’d like to present myself. Thank you for being open with the world about your recent troubles and bouts with loneliness, it’s helped me understand the vulnerability one person can have. Thank you for not speaking out of anger, it helps me understand your stories more clearly when you don’t speak with some kind of angst. Thank you for continuing your journey to write these stories, I enjoy being able to connect and speak my emotions.
Unused entries I never started:
“blood type O”
“flighty”
“the presses”
“double bass roar”
“the sluggish decline”
“furtive”
Anything written from here on out will be a new idea I didn’t hold on to.
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