analyze them

   The first time I went to therapy was in 1999, it was during my parent’s separation.  Seeing my mom and dad not in the same picture/household anymore was something I didn’t know how to handle at 13, I remember it was on Thursdays at 4.  I remember 2 different sessions where my mom and dad showed up separately, my father came in first intoxicated and my therapist told my mother that was no point staying with him during the following session (according to mom).  But I do remember my therapist telling me at the time that a broken picture doesn’t mean that it’s the end of the world, and thinking about it 20 years later I realized he was right.  Even though I hated to admit it, I always wanted to go again… but didn’t want to pay that kind of money for it.

   Fast forward years and years later, an altercation happened at my house between me and someone very close.  And even though things between us got a little messy, it was also misguided by the mutuals.  The mutual that was involved did not really provide their view to defend my side, which frustrated the situation a little but more (in my opinion).  After we reconciled the next day, I brought up the idea that the next time we have a huge fight that we should go to therapy.  Someone that won’t take sides and that would look at the situation equally, someone that’ll find a resolution that we could both agree to.  Fast forward again almost 2 years later while we were calming down from another huge altercation that happened, she mentions that we need to go to therapy and reluctantly I said she needed to go herself since I was still dumbfounded by her comments during the fight.  But after a few weeks after going to therapy for myself (surprise surprise), I realized that she was probably right to bring it up.

   For the first time in 20 years, I voluntarily admitted myself to go to therapy for anxiety and depression.  Going to therapy was one of the best decisions I’ve made recently, finally speaking to someone who is willing to sit down and understand my troubles is all I ask for.  The advice/guidance they gave for my everyday life has been helping me see things in a different light, makes me wish I did it a lot sooner even before the altercation erupted.  Speaking about this now, I wish I took us going to therapy a little more seriously.  Believe it or not, I’m still willing to go through it if she is (even after all this).  Watching this new show called “couples therapy” opened my eyes even more to it, that actually convinced me a little more.