(I’m going to be direct with everything I’m going to say, straight from the heart.) Good afternoon cross watcher!! How have you been since we’ve last spoken? I still don’t know who you are (I might have an idea just don’t want to admit it), but I wanted to thank you again for reading up on my stories. I hope by you reading these you are learning more about me and my emotions with everything I’m saying, never embellished or a lie. I hope this new year is serving you well, and I hope for nothing but the best for anybody that is reading this right now. I believe in you and I will never stop rooting for you whether I know you or not, I hope you achieve whatever it is you’re trying to conquer. I wish you the best, and I know you’ll do just fine because you have my blessings.
I, on the other hand, I am not doing too good. I had a photo shoot on Friday night that was successful with everybody attending the event applauding my work and I’m very happy that they dug it, but something was missing that night and I realized it was her. I was having one of those “empty seat” moments where I knew success wouldn’t be nothing unless you had a certain someone to share it with, and I always shared it with her but she’s not here. I miss her presence because it gave me confidence, I wish her the absolute best and hope she’s happy with whatever she’s doing because I can’t seem to adjust right now. I went to echo park after the event to see one of my favorite views which is the beautiful DTLA city skyline from there at 2 in the morning with the honking ducks and the geese, at the same time I was fighting back this anguish of loneliness but I got through it. I did see a sitting man alone on a bench and it scared me thinking if that might be me, I took a picture of him but I refuse to post it because it’s kinda depressing.
I spent my Saturday alone with these conflicted thoughts that I had to struggle to finish “glimmer” and “a derailed confusion”, The cover for “glimmer” was shot in Echo Park in case you were wondering. I wasn’t satisfied with the middle paragraph of “a derailed confusion”, because for a sequel it should have been stronger but you have to understand how challenging it is to talk about misunderstandings without being misunderstood. Grammarly did say that the delivery was off and I’m going to have to agree with them and I apologize to the reader if it seemed confusing to read, I admit that I was not in a good headspace when I wrote the second and last half of that entry. Because of that, I’ve decided to postpone the next couple of entries because I can feel myself trying to force the finish and that’s not fair to me or you. I plan to reveal some entries that I started last fall but I don’t have the heart to finish them, rather than scrapping them I might as well show you what it could’ve been. I would also like to revive some entries from my previous blog from years ago, there was a specific one I was looking for but I think I deleted it a while back because the story broke my heart (and my best friend’s too). However, I did find the original predecessor to “full house” (I might not post it because I was bitter when I wrote it at that time.). But we’ll see.
I want to take this moment to thank you again cross watcher for taking the time to read my thoughts, I wrote this one for you believe it or not because I didn’t think I mattered to anybody. This was actually written pretty quickly because I came straight from the heart, it’s important for me because I just wanted someone to talk to and it makes my day a little brighter knowing that someone out there is listening (even though I don’t know who they are). This was also written on a Sunday just like the last one (I don’t know if I want to make this a thing), but keep thriving in becoming a better person. Until then, here’s another one for you just like last time.
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