Did you know that It takes years for a clam to make a pearl out of a single grain of sand? If a clam can make something that precious out of something that little would you let it go? That’s how I view friendships, a priceless gem that two people can treasure which is valued by others. I hold onto every relationship whether it’s good or bad, not necessarily in terms of not letting go but I remember how we built this foundation from this grain of sand that turned into something grander. What is misleading to me is when the opposing party doesn’t view how grand this connection is or am I the only one that sees the bigger picture within us? If you’re aware of how hard it is to make a pearl can you imagine how easy it is to make an avalanche out of a snowball? How everything can tumble down until it’s unstoppable and somehow you’re caught up in it, that’s how I view misunderstandings that spiral out of control because anybody can get caught up in it like a spider’s web. Getting out of all of that snow seems near impossible that you’re better off freezing to death (or to succumb to their misunderstandings) but getting to the truth is the steepest uphill climb, yet we let the things we assume to get the best of us to make half-true scenarios.
The thing is that there’s a difference between your truth, their truth, and the actual truth. Is it possible that we sabotage ourselves just so our version of the story sounds better? That we don’t give the other party a chance to speak their side of the story because you already assume what it’s going to be, or is it really because we’re really protecting ourselves because what we assume we know sounds better than what it could be? Or could it be that you can’t accept that you’ve probably hurt the person you’re too afraid to face? Rather than questioning every possible scenario, let me not beat around the bush and say this. Misunderstandings ruined about 90% of my friendships because we both failed to ask or explain how we felt about the conflicting situation and because of that, we let our pride and our ego speak for us when we think we know what transpired. Misunderstandings are the one thing that’ll dismiss something stable such as longevity instead of second-guessing something that wasn’t really clear to us, which needs to unwanted conclusions and lack of proper closure. Either you could blame them or you could blame yourself, even if you come to terms with how you both played an equal part of what went wrong with the misunderstanding are they willing to listen?
The biggest misconception when it comes to misunderstandings is that we fail to look at how the other person is feeling, we’re so caught up in our emotions that we don’t consider how the other person is taking it. This is something that takes me a while to comprehend as well, but I know whenever there’s a misunderstanding of any kind I fall into depression. I fall in this funk where I constantly think about how we built this beautiful pearl now that it’s lost in this avalanche that we created, and this happens to me almost every time. It scares me because it makes me not want to be close to anybody else if I could lose the people closest to me. But whoever I had a falling out with, I’m still willing to talk it out with everyone. There’s no room for stubbornness and for whose rights and whose wrongs, but I am open for understandings, forgiveness, and apologies. So if you’re up for it, let’s start over.
“A single moment of misunderstanding is so poisonous that it makes us forget the hundreds of lovable moments spent together within a minute” - Anonymous
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