no vacancy

    Since I revisited a certain situation that I blocked from my memory, I decided to tackle the other half of the story as well for a better understanding of the situation that I previously spoke about before. I hope by me extending this story gives a little more clarity on the issue, because I realized it really couldn’t be explained in one paragraph…

   We met her through another friend who is a DJ that coincidentally had the same name as her, we didn’t keep in touch per se but I never forgot her (my best friend kept in touch with her more than I did).  I can’t recall how we rendezvoused again but she invited us to her cousin's house because she lived a mile away from our friends arcade and she was making dinner that night, I knew this could be the start of a something great.  Things after that night began to go smoothly between the three of us, when I think about it now things were probably going too fast for all of us as well.  Our new friend wasn’t too fond of her living conditions at her cousin’s house (because her cousin’s ex-fiance was coming back into the picture), coincidentally my best friend wasn’t comfortable with the conditions at her house as well.  I invited the idea that they should live together as roommates, they made a pact saying that whoever finds a place first that they would lookout for the other person.  I believe it was about 3 months later that our new friend found a place near my best friend’s house and invited her to be her roommate, my best friend was so excited that she started packing up already.  Things on our new friends end weren’t looking so good at the beginning, so much so that I offered to get her a months worth of paper goods for her first month living there.  My mother even donated some things to them both, so you know things were going to look better for them.  Until things took an unexpected turn, in which I probably blame myself for.

   It was on the 6th of April where my best friend asked me how she was going to bring her records from her place to the new one, I had the idea of getting a shelf from IKEA and building at the new spot (so we didn’t have to go back and forth).  I contacted our new friend myself (because we were somewhat talking regularly at the time) and asked if she was going to be home the next day so we could build the new shelf, she snapped at me saying that this was something my best friend should be addressing her about and not me.  Even though I understand what she was saying, I thought we were close enough to discuss something like that since we were talking more than her and my best friend was at the time.  She addressed it to my best friend as well, even though my intentions were pure she didn’t exactly defend me on that particular night.  I remember going to sleep with this uncomfortable anguish that night, I had a fear that I lost them both.  I revealed to my best friend a short time later (since I had a problem addressing issues) that her role in not defending me really offended me especially if she knew I meant no harm or not to intervene, she understood my place and apologized for not speaking on my behalf sooner.  When our new friend contacted my best friend about a week or two later addressing the place, she asked her why she hadn’t heard from me in a bit.  My best friend told her that she had offended me by lashing out the way that she did, rather than being understanding about it she completely shut her out as well telling her that she is no longer welcomed to be her roommate.  It would be a lie if I didn’t say I wasn’t surprised by her actions, even though I’m thankful my best friend defended me when she did.. but it cost her a place to stay.  When I addressed this story to others to see if I went too far, they said two things: “You were looking out for her because that’s what best friends do and better you found out now than when she moved in with her right?”

   Nearly two months had gone by with no contact from her, I actually had gotten our new friend a new record from her favorite musician in case we made up but she dismissed my best friend the weekend after.  I was so disappointed at the situation and with our new friend that shutting her out wasn’t as difficult as I thought because she irrational thinking ruined someone else’s potential to grow, and that was something that was extremely inexcusable to me.  I knew deep down that this wholeheartedly defeated my best friend for a long time, she had a very difficult time speaking about it.  She had a difficult time trusting people to begin with but things brought it to a whole new level by her doing that , and there was nothing I could do to help it.  Our new friend texted my best friend the day before her birthday, with a sort of apology and saying that she “wasn’t in a good place to apologize” to me.  Our new friend’s grandfather was ill at the time she was moving in to the new place and she couldn’t handle everything going on at the time, she also stated that whenever she runs into problems that she just runs away from them without properly confronting them.  My best friend told her up front that she has to grow as a person if she doesn’t stop running away from her issues, to this day she hasn’t responded since.  She still follows us on social media, with no apology in site.  I personally wasn’t angry about it because this was at the tip of a new path I was taking, I really hope she grows up.... I really do.