Good morning CW (just like the network)! How was your Valentine’s Day? Did you get anything special? Or better yet, did you make someone feel special? Whatever it is, I hope you felt loved regardless. I had to do a shoot a show that night actually, kept me busy I guess. If things worked out last year I would’ve spent the shoot with someone special to me but maybe in another lifetime I guess, it was still a crazy night but I was glad I went. Have you been feeling okay? If you feel a weird shift for the rest of the month it’s because we’re about to hit mercury retrograde (when things mysteriously go south), just be patient and let nature take its course is the best advice I can give you. I still can't seem to shake off how things are leaving me feeling unappreciated lately, and it really doesn’t help that the energies/people around me aren't really helping the situation at all. So with that being said, I've decided to go away for a few days to recharge my spirit and hopefully find some value within myself (probably at the worst place possible). You can’t love others if you don’t love yourself and right now I’m not loving myself, I’m not seeing the value in me right now but maybe I can if I’m away from the familiar. I really hope things turn around soon, if not with how things are then at least with how I’m viewing things because it’s very difficult to stay optimistic. Would you like to hear a story that nobody knows?
The week after my best friend ghosted me and I still wasn’t sure what was going on at the time (the day after our yearly vacation), I visited the game store that we both went to every now and then. I forgot my reasoning for being there but one of our mutual friends had a plush of one of her favorite video game mascots, the friend remembered that she liked the character so he handed it to me to give it to her. I wasn’t sure how I was going to it give to her at the time because she wasn’t responding to anything I was throwing at her but I was sure she would appreciate it, I told another mutual friend about it and he didn’t want to hand it to her because he wanted me to “give it to her once we reunited again” and that time has not come yet. I kept it hidden away so I wouldn’t be reminded of her departure but I found it a few months later then again recently collecting dust, even though deep down I know it’s not going to happen another part of me doesn’t want to get rid of it. Does it mean that I’m holding on to something that won’t happen or is it a symbol to not let go of a possibility? I don’t even know anymore, I’m at a position where I would lose either way. Besides, I don’t know who else would want it.
I shot the photo of “the fourth o” on the way to the cemetery with my mother to visit my grandmother for her birthday, I looked up and saw the sun (which looks like an O) covered by clear skies and dark clouds. I thought it was the perfect photo to showcase that entry because it had a real yin-yang feel to it (what do you think? Comment below). “iconoclasm records” was originally called “The Business of Friends”, that entry actually started in December of last year but I waited a little longer to try to tackle it again. If the ending seemed a little weak I apologize for that, I wasn’t sure how to really conclude it but I was really happy to reconcile with a few of them after we had our major disagreement. Egos and misunderstandings are a very dangerous combination, that’s the reason for 90% of my fallouts with people. Did you notice that the photo in “no words” is similar to the one in “the words”? It was actually shot 2 weeks apart from each other believe it or not. I tried to not make that one depressing but it still ended up being a sad one because it was the truth, if it impacted you call someone today. The original title was “10PM”, but I decided to make it part of the “words” series. “Oasis City” was a fun one to write years ago, I figured I would post that before I leave (since you’re the only one that knows that I’m leaving). Until we “link up” again, thank you for checking up on me. I’m sorry for everything. This is what “the plush” looks like.
The week after my best friend ghosted me and I still wasn’t sure what was going on at the time (the day after our yearly vacation), I visited the game store that we both went to every now and then. I forgot my reasoning for being there but one of our mutual friends had a plush of one of her favorite video game mascots, the friend remembered that she liked the character so he handed it to me to give it to her. I wasn’t sure how I was going to it give to her at the time because she wasn’t responding to anything I was throwing at her but I was sure she would appreciate it, I told another mutual friend about it and he didn’t want to hand it to her because he wanted me to “give it to her once we reunited again” and that time has not come yet. I kept it hidden away so I wouldn’t be reminded of her departure but I found it a few months later then again recently collecting dust, even though deep down I know it’s not going to happen another part of me doesn’t want to get rid of it. Does it mean that I’m holding on to something that won’t happen or is it a symbol to not let go of a possibility? I don’t even know anymore, I’m at a position where I would lose either way. Besides, I don’t know who else would want it.
I shot the photo of “the fourth o” on the way to the cemetery with my mother to visit my grandmother for her birthday, I looked up and saw the sun (which looks like an O) covered by clear skies and dark clouds. I thought it was the perfect photo to showcase that entry because it had a real yin-yang feel to it (what do you think? Comment below). “iconoclasm records” was originally called “The Business of Friends”, that entry actually started in December of last year but I waited a little longer to try to tackle it again. If the ending seemed a little weak I apologize for that, I wasn’t sure how to really conclude it but I was really happy to reconcile with a few of them after we had our major disagreement. Egos and misunderstandings are a very dangerous combination, that’s the reason for 90% of my fallouts with people. Did you notice that the photo in “no words” is similar to the one in “the words”? It was actually shot 2 weeks apart from each other believe it or not. I tried to not make that one depressing but it still ended up being a sad one because it was the truth, if it impacted you call someone today. The original title was “10PM”, but I decided to make it part of the “words” series. “Oasis City” was a fun one to write years ago, I figured I would post that before I leave (since you’re the only one that knows that I’m leaving). Until we “link up” again, thank you for checking up on me. I’m sorry for everything. This is what “the plush” looks like.
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