We would talk on the phone every night at 10 PM before going to bed for more than 10 years, we would even briefly speak in the morning before she clocked in for work. It was important for me to have that human interaction with someone willing to have a conversation with about our lives every day, I know it sounds like much but it’s not every day where someone is fortunate to have something like that. I looked forward to hearing her voice every night to clear out my thoughts of whatever was going on that day and her voice would soothe me to sleep, there were a few instances where we didn't speak to each other because we were upset with one another but that was only a handful of times. When we started fighting and the phone calls stopped it became very difficult for me to sleep at night, so much so that it was nearly unbearable in the beginning. When I didn't receive a phone call on the anniversary of my dad's passing seeing how I felt was hard to accept, not even on my birthday wishing me the best even though we weren’t on good terms, nor Christmas or New Year's, it was a very lonely time to be next to my phone. Not that I was expecting it but it would've been a nice surprise if things turned around on one of those days, sometimes I tell myself what I wouldn't give to hear her voice again but in reality, I could just go back to watch a video she was in which would lead me to crave more so I shouldn't for now. Knowing that I won’t be called for Valentine’s Day is something I’ve accepted a while ago (I actually had something planned but what can you do), but it’s still a little troublesome to sleep at night without it (it’s getting better though).
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