“What’s your favorite part about going to Japan?” Seems to be a popular question among others every time I return from Tokyo. It’s a question I was asked a handful of times recently, if you asked me this question years ago the answer would’ve been how everything I love is close by (arcades, food, record shops). However, as of these past 2 trips that answer has changed and it’s an answer not many people really seem to understand. The only other person who understands is a friend who joined me on a trip over there and he dreaded returning home the same way I did, he felt the same phenomenon that I did being there. Maybe if I explain it myself it'll make more sense, come with me on this journey.
A saying that my father once told my mother is the same one that an old friend once said to me stating that: “Nobody thinks like you”, I took this quote as a gift and a curse at the same time. The issue with being at home is that many of the people that I surround myself with don’t have the same drive or ambition to grow or to develop into a better human being, so my journey of self-growth is usually a lonely road ahead. That’s the best part about going to Japan is that I can genuinely be myself and be appreciated by others the way I wished it was appreciated at home, the kicker is that they have the same mindset of appreciation, respect, and gratitude as I do. Not once did I feel that someone was trying to bring me down or belittle me in any way, the mannerisms over there made me feel that I could actually belong there. The friend I brought with me during this trip described this adventure as a life-changing experience, not only because of the attractions I brought him to but because he didn't feel like he needed to impress anybody to feel accepted. Not once did we feel uneasy or guarded in any way, but it was a true inner peace that we unlocked that we didn't know was hidden within us. It's a rejuvenating feeling that I'm always anxious to revisit whenever I come back there, but what goes up must come down.
I always get hit with this meteor of depression the day before my flight because I see it as reality kicking in and telling me to go back to my normal life, which is difficult for me to accept because I have to return to those that I have to question if they value me or not. Throughout the duration of my stay, I haven’t thought about those who gave me the most grief or issues that were waiting for me back at home, but the part that bothers me the most is when I have to bring home this sense of enlightenment to people that bring me down so I have to keep my newfound inner strength a secret. It's hard enough that November is the hardest month of the year for me since I ride through this emotional roller coaster with my father's birthday, his passing, and my birthday happening in the same month, but now I have to deal with the everyday people in my life who don't motivate me to better (or themselves) that drains me. I turn into a recluse (or a hermit) because I become sensitive to negative energies, like a vulnerable crab out of their shell. It's tiring to climb a mountain by yourself sometimes, but you have to do what you gotta do to protect your energy.
I just realized I never answered what my favorite part of going to Japan is, it's the people. Not just my Japanese family over there, but they too are happy to see me every day and welcome me with open arms as if it's their first time seeing me all over again (I love that). I felt welcomed every place I went to, language barrier issues here and there but I didn't feel any part of hostility or walking on eggshells from anybody if I accidentally said the wrong thing like anybody back at home. It's very pleasing to know that I'm safe over there and how relaxed that place is, I can't wait to go back there. I love Los Angeles, but I feel genuinely loved in Japan. That's a hard thing to admit, but a harder thing to deny.
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