I have traveled to the land of the rising sun 5 times, the interesting part is that every odd number of trips I was accompanied with my best friend. But this time around because of our scuffle I’m taking this odd-numbered adventure alone, which feels uneven to say the very least. Because during our first trip was to scratch off our bucket list saying that we went and I fell in love with it so much that I went back again without her. But she joined again only to decline the trip the following year, you see how this makes sense? I know all this sounds confusing but rather than explaining why she’s not here, let me explain why this doesn’t feel right to me.
During our first trip to Japan was practically journeyed blindly, getting lost was not only fun but it was frustrating as well. Google Maps wasn’t doing us any favors either getting us lost and everything felt so far everywhere, we didn’t get used to the time difference until the day before our flight. Regardless of how different it was, it felt like a place of solitude for me. A place where I could be what I want to be without being judged, plus all of my interests were right there as well (records, gaming, food). I was so addicted to that place that I return by myself, booked my hotel someplace closer to where my interests were and ventured alone so the next time my best friend came along it would be easier for her to travel. When she returned to Japan that following year, not only was the trip more of a breeze for her BUT we stumbled upon meeting some friends from social media as well. That was a huge plus for us and a big accomplishment for me, so much that I rendezvoused with them again one year later but when I did their number one question was: “Where’s your best friend?!”. She said she would return the following year.
We booked the trip 8 months prior with full intentions on making this another one for the books, we were even planning new places to go to along the way. I was looking forward to this trip with her so much that I didn’t want to amp/hype myself up so I wasn’t thinking about it until the time was near, so for a good 7 months I didn’t want to think about it at all. That was until our altercation one August night where things took a turn for the worst, when she didn’t show up for a trip we had planned 2 weeks later then that’s when I started to panic. I had to accept the fact that she MIGHT not be attending this trip that I’ve been looking forward to with her, and it hurt me so much to think that she wouldn’t be able to enjoy it (or that I wouldn’t enjoy it without her). Because we literally had this trip planned out for months, and I didn’t want to take this trip alone. I postponed the trip an extra 2 weeks because I didn’t feel right going in October, so I waited to go until November. Breaking the news to my Japanese friends that she wasn’t attending this trip was the hardest thing in the world, because I know how much they wanted to see her again and how much they enjoy her company.
I almost declined to go on this solo trip, but it turned out to be one of my best trips. I got to be with my Japanese family every day throughout the trip, finally met a friend that my best friend and I had been talking to for a year (and she paid for my dinner!), got to redeem my self-confidence in photography, discovered new places, discovered new friends, the only 2 problems that I had was the thought of coming back to the toxic energies at home and thinking if she was her would she enjoy it? I say that because success isn’t the same unless you share it with someone else (at least for me it isn’t). I know she likes Japan too, I just wanted her to see what I saw because I know she would’ve had a blast. Even though I had an amazing time and this is a trip I’ll never forget, parts of me during this trip was very lonely as well. But you know what cheered that up? Onigiri. And white grape soda. And curry... especially curry.
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