the good one

  The 9th track from my favorite album of 2019 is not necessarily my favorite one, but I had a change of heart about the song after it became the theme of how my life took a turn after witnessing the song being performed live. Although its upbeat tempo would make it difficult for any listener to not feel enlightened hearing it, it was the time and place where I heard the song to where the things in my life were starting to take a turn. I was hit with anxiety at an important time where my services were needed, but I had no idea how dire the situation was on my mental health at the time. I remember feeling this ache so bad that I didn’t know what to do or how to maintain it, it hurt so bad that I had to document it. I filmed myself feeling this way thinking that I never wanted to feel this anguish again, coincidentally this particular song that was playing was the complete opposite of what I was feeling at the time. I recall feeling so useless because I felt the world was against me that I wanted to cry, but I somehow stomached through that night thinking that I never want this feeling to happen again. Shortly after that, hearing a particular song made me feel defeated. How could a song that’s so positive make me feel so bad?

  It wasn’t until hearing the song again during another live performance in another country some two months later is where I realized that I was in a better place than I thought the last time I heard it, the song today represents how I really triumphed through a turbulent period. It was so much of a change that I filmed myself again to the same tune so I could prove that I was better than the last time I did, it was a dramatic difference. It’s not about what made me upset or what triggered my downfall, it’s about surpassing something I didn’t think I could through a song. The song represents how I climbed through a rough beginning and triumphed my way to something I thought was impossible, something close to rejuvenation.  I was thankful to get a 2nd chance to make this right because it wasn’t fair to feel like a failure while I was hearing a song about enjoying the moment.  That’s all I have to say about this, have a good night.

“and I’m feeling alright!!”

sinking / resurface