How transparent do you have to be to let the person in front of you know that you're fading away? You never know what you have in your life even if it's right in front of you or even if it stabbed you in the heart. It takes many years or one tragedy for you to see what you can't touch anymore. We treat each other like we're going to live forever until something slaps you in the face but even then it might not phase you. We're not as strong as you believe us to be and neither are you, don't front like you don't need me or anybody else when in reality you can't walk another step unless you know that we’re behind you. You're just as emotionally fragile as I am, where's the logic of throwing glass to a rock? How could you ignore that broken record repeating itself over and over again to you while you sit there staring at the broken vase of your ignorance? What's the point of gluing something together that you're eventually going to break again? I'm no better then you are, but at least I don't act like I'm stronger than anybody else. I'd rather handle some issues independently instead of ignoring them or tell the world. We cannot be strong unless we have each other, but don't push someone so far to the point where they'd prefer to be alone. I always get pushed as far to the point where I have to look in the mirror to see the face of misfortune. I'm not sure how people that could faintly see you still consider that as being seen. Is it possible that some people are best seen when you could look through them? Being able to touch them when you please but when they try to reach out to touch you they realize you can't be felt? Until the day you look at your hands and realize that you could look through it, I'll be non-existent by then. You had your chance.
"How did I get so far gone?
Where do I belong?
And where in the world did I ever go wrong?....
If I took the time to replace,
What my mind erased,
I still feel as if I'm HERE BUT I'M GONE" - Curtis Mayfield
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- This was posted on 7/1/12 on my old blog.
- Notes from my old blog:
1. There were 2 drafts made before this one, but they were more cluttered then this one was. I decided to try again in a more platonic way.
2. Inspired by 2 women whose hair shines like the sun and towards acquaintances who never think twice about who is in their lives.
3. "Here but I'm Gone" was a song that my father introduced me to when I was younger. I had forgotten about it until I watched an episode of "New York Undercover" when I was much older only to then realized that the lyrics reflected on his life at the time he showed me the song.
-Notes for the new blog
1. Typos fixed. (there was a lot... I was really angry when I wrote this).
2. The location of this photo was shot in the middle of nowhere in route to Lancaster/Palmdale, this was actually the location I wanted to bring my best friend to the weekend before she ghosted me but she was doing a reading for another friend that exceeded the timing for it not to happen. I was going to use that time to discuss our issues, but what can you do?
3. This is the original photo used was shot in 2011 (using a technique I retired the same year, but I posted it a year later.
4. This was posted at a very turbulent time in my life at the time when things were falling apart (my peers didn't respect, my job was never satisfied with my performance, me and my best friend kept fighting, the events of "rhizome" took place the weekend before). I didn't get a grasp of my life until about a month later.
5. Revived when I was heavily missing my father.
- Notes from my old blog:
1. There were 2 drafts made before this one, but they were more cluttered then this one was. I decided to try again in a more platonic way.
2. Inspired by 2 women whose hair shines like the sun and towards acquaintances who never think twice about who is in their lives.
3. "Here but I'm Gone" was a song that my father introduced me to when I was younger. I had forgotten about it until I watched an episode of "New York Undercover" when I was much older only to then realized that the lyrics reflected on his life at the time he showed me the song.
-Notes for the new blog
1. Typos fixed. (there was a lot... I was really angry when I wrote this).
2. The location of this photo was shot in the middle of nowhere in route to Lancaster/Palmdale, this was actually the location I wanted to bring my best friend to the weekend before she ghosted me but she was doing a reading for another friend that exceeded the timing for it not to happen. I was going to use that time to discuss our issues, but what can you do?
3. This is the original photo used was shot in 2011 (using a technique I retired the same year, but I posted it a year later.
4. This was posted at a very turbulent time in my life at the time when things were falling apart (my peers didn't respect, my job was never satisfied with my performance, me and my best friend kept fighting, the events of "rhizome" took place the weekend before). I didn't get a grasp of my life until about a month later.
5. Revived when I was heavily missing my father.
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