talk to me

   I knew I had a knack for talking to people as early as high school, rather than talking about gossip I became the person others could depend on to lend an ear with logical responses.  It was around my senior year of high school where I decided that I wanted to be a therapist as a career, even tried to do so during my first year of college.  I had to quit school to look for work which concluded my studies in psychology but pushed the same energy into photography instead, but I always wondered if I had stuck with it if I would be successful today.  I’m not one to be nosey to get into another person’s business but I nudge them to the point where they knew they could trust me with their words, that alone got others to be more invested in me with their emotions.  I was gifted (or cursed depending on how you want to see it) with the aid to help others who show potential in progress, whether I want to or not I have this yearning to help my fellow person who is stuck.  Whether it’s in the crack of dawn or the wee hours of the night, you never know when someone needs to talk.  I’d rather be the person passing the ball to the star player to do the alley-oop rather than being the guy who dunks the ball, that’s my goal when it comes to others.  With all that said and done plus you being able to help someone through a rough patch, one question resonates with me: who is your therapist’s therapist?

  Despite the conflicts that are going on in my life right now and I should be focusing on myself, I still find it satisfying to help others with their issues that they don’t know how to settle because that’s where I feel I’m the most worthy. I find it intriguing that people have been confiding in me to help them during this time, I even use my errors from the last argument with someone I lost to help those in current relationships (using myself as the suspect of course). If I did not step into a close friend and his lady’s life when I did, they would not have considered couples therapy for their relationship (a regret I have with for myself as well). It’s very challenging trying to get two stubborn opinions on the same page and it’s extremely frustrating when you’re trying to get to the finish line with them as a team but they refuse to move together (if that makes sense), but it’s rewarding to see others attempt to work it out while holding each other’s hand. This indicates to me that they are sorry but can’t verbally say it, which is enough for me because it tells me that they’re willing to try. Mediating a couple’s debate (or argument) on their emotions is very tiresome especially when both parties refuse to be wrong, but pointing out the problems and suggesting the solutions to those problems for others so they could build a stronger foundation for each other is the biggest reward I could ask for. They offered to repay me for helping them and I decline every time, a simple thank you will do. This was something that I had wished for with my last relationship because talking to them now is what I would’ve said to myself things with awry with the person I let slip away. Even though I was able to save my friend’s relationship (4 times), one question still remains: who is your therapist’s therapist?

   Every time I think about a friend of mine, I think about the tarot card “nine of swords” (anxiety, depression, inner turmoil, etc.) because it seems as the years go by his life seems to decline into a new definition for struggle. I have never met a man who lost everything and kept losing, I admire his will to continue because he always finds a way to come out on top. Even during his downfalls, I still try to give him words of wisdom to keep his mind from sinking to dark waters. He once confessed to us about his suicidal thoughts (this terrified my best friend at the time), and he revealed his will to live from taking things further which made me thankful he did that. Years have passed and things are still not concrete in his life, he started to sink and sink fast. It was near Christmas where he really fell on hard times and couldn’t see things getting better, he admitted that he was starting to lose his ambition to continue. I dropped everything I was doing to focus on telling him everything that he’s grateful for and telling him how much I admired his thrive to never give up. If there was someone I could ever look up to not ever let life get the best of him, it was the person I was spilling my appreciation for at this vital moment. Admittedly, I’ve had countless “if I wasn’t here” (or “It’s A Wonderful Life” type) moments. The thought of if I didn’t impact the people's lives I have touched if it would have made a difference still runs through my mind to this day but I couldn’t let this happen to someone who never gave up on me to feel like a failure the same way I did about myself.  I was thankful I got to help him in his time of reassurance, because he needed to understand not only he was important to me but to his community (even if they don’t give it up to him all the time).  That was the first time in a long time that I had been that scared for someone else, I hope I never scared someone else like that (if I have, I’m sorry).  He’s still falling but he’s in better spirits, I wish him the best.  I was strong-minded enough to save someone else’s sanity, but one question still isn’t being answered: who is your therapist’s therapist?

"talk to me, i'm ready" - lightweight heavy

Edit: On January 31st, I saw the inspiration for "analyze them" again and the final words of the show is coincidentally the name of this entry.

Also, when I tried to look for another program to watch a movie with the same name appeared.