the three o's

   My therapist recently told me “Whenever we respond to anger with a reaction, it’s our mind telling us that something isn’t fair”.  Typically, the first thought that goes through your mind isn’t the right one (especially if you’re upset).  You might want to say something that’ll get under someone else’s skin, to push their buttons and to make them feel as equally combative as you are.  Whatever it takes to get them off your back, that's the only thing that matters right now.

    The action or the words that we speak when we are at our worst that are geared towards someone else sometimes cannot be reversed, because some part of them has now been scarred since you felt the need to strike.  It doesn’t explain why you do what you did, but you enabled all that anger and frustration to get you and released it on someone else.  Did they deserve it?  Probably.  Do you regret it?  Not right now.  The only thing that matters right now is that you have to hit someone where it hurts, to target those trigger points within them that’ll rattle their emotions.  The worst part is that since you’re still not thinking straight, you’re still numb to anything that comes out of your mouth or that comes your way.  And after all, all the frustrations and all the nasty things are said and done.. next question is... now what?

   Now that we’ve come back down to reality, all that fury is released from our body with our heads cleared, where do we go from here?  Did we mean the hurt them?  Did we mean to take it too far?  Better yet let me ask two questions I previously asked.  Did they deserve it? Probably.  Do you regret it? Probably as well.  The problem now is how do we face the person we just hurt?  Do we avoid them?  Would they accept our apology?  More importantly, would we stick to our apology if we say it?  Now we know what pisses them off and we can be sure not to do it again... or we could disappear because we don’t know if we can keep that guarantee.  No matter what happened, things got out of control.  I hope both parties can admit to that, it didn't have to go this far.

“but I never in a million years thought you could ever take it here” - MH

“the three O’s” = Out of Mind, Out of Pocket, Out of Sight.  (Which is why I’m continuing “the oath”)