It’s almost been four years since I’ve been riding solo without someone by my side, it has been an amazing four years but it’s also been an interesting four years as well. I’ve learned so much about myself doing things alone to where men and women alike question how I’m doing so much solo, it’s more to prove that I could venture alone more so than anything else. Ladies tend to question if traveling or doing other big adventures alone gets lonely, the truth is that it does at times but I try my absolute best to not think about it to try to focus on a grander experience. Another big thing I’ve learned is that couples tend to look to me for guidance or advice about their relationships, though I remind them about how I’ve failed with relationships before they still seem to admire how I treated my previous partners (the good parts) and wondered how I would handle the situation they were in if I were them. I learned a lot as their "therapist", but it also shined a light on something else about myself…
For as long as I’ve been in my “longest relationship”, I’ve been very tight-lipped about every disagreement or argument that we ever had whereas many couples today they’re extremely vocal about theirs. Maybe in the beginning I was vocal about how she did this or that, but I noticed very early that people were very quick to take sides without hesitation, seeing a select few not having hope in us to be happy together made my heart sink so I've been silent ever since. For well over 10 years, I was quiet about anything wrong between us. I always felt that it was nobody’s business and issues within the relationship should be kept private just like marriages (or maybe I'm too old-fashioned), secondly I’d hate for someone to talk me out of staying with her over something minimal or simply because they didn’t like her. I also feared being spoken about poorly because I didn’t do that with her even when we were at each other’s throats, I understood why people took our departure as a huge surprise because many looked at us as an admirable unit through thick and thin.
However, when I think about couples today whether they're dating, in a long-term relationship, or even married couples, I'm convinced that most are not sure how to appreciate what they have or what they’re willing to fight for. I managed to save a few relationships here and there within the past few years but I’m done trying to convince someone to reignite a fire that they keep blowing out, it's even more frustrating when many have this “whatever happens, happens” attitude about their partner where they don’t deserve to be in a relationship or they cannot bare the idea of supporting someone else when they feel that everything should be catered to them. It's tough being surrounded by people who are delusional with high expectations while they avoid taking any accountability of their own, it's disheartening to admit that it turns me off to the idea of being in a new relationship today because I hate the idea that I’m not good enough for anybody else (which isn’t true). I'm thankful that others know that I can listen to them with an unbiased mindset with the notion that everybody has a fair chance because even when I speak about my past failures within relationships I don’t leave out my faults with the consequences I’ve faced, I'm more thankful that a few were willing to take the approaches I wish I would've taken to repair my past breakups as well (because it saved theirs). To this day, I don't speak poorly of the past ladies I was involved with. I wish things were different to the point where I hate the idea of us being strangers, but as long as they're happy with or without me in the picture that's all I really care about.
The title came from the saying: "Loose lips, sink ships"
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