Good evening cross watcher! How have you been? I apologize for my absence, I’ve been going through some major highs and lows with my emotions that I wasn’t sure how to discuss. Things are sort of starting to look up for me but I still see people being unhappy on social media and that’s been letting me down a little bit, it’s difficult for me to be selfish so maybe I should start (but don’t know how to begin). Not that I don’t care because that’s not true but I care so much that it feels like I’m in the wrong for being happy at times, you know what I mean? I’m not ignoring you and I haven’t forgotten about you, but ever since I wrote my last entry I strayed away from this blog because I let my emotions get the best of me when I wrote it (to be honest I was a little embarrassed about it). I can’t promise that it won’t happen again, but I will say that I will try to not write like that for a while. In any case, let’s move on.
How was your Father’s Day? If he’s still in your life, did you treat him like a king for the day? Did you call him at least? I hope you’re lucky enough to still have him in your life so he could still show you some guidance in life, and maybe vice versa because your old man is not too old to learn new tricks. I hope the bond between both of you is a solid one to the point where it’s unbreakable, it’s something I wish I had with mine. When I wrote “The Last Time” back in 2011, everything was still vivid to me. From the phone call to the casket, even reading it today trips out on I spoke that delicately during that turbulent time. My heart was still broken into pieces at that time, how I had the courage to do that still trips me out to this day. On that note, I want to take this moment to apologize if “The Last Chance” made you feel uncomfortable in any way. I was very angry and bitter with myself for ignoring my chance with my father on what would’ve been his last father’s day, I wrote that entry out of pure emotion/frustration with very little thought involved. You can tell the fury in my words as I was holding back tears getting these emotions out and I’m sorry once again if you felt bad for me, that was not the intention at all.
Despite all the craziness that we’re seeing come to light, I hope you’re doing alright. I hope you’re healthy, I hope you’re safe, and most importantly I hope you’re happy. I wish there was more I could say at this time but I’m really drawing a blank on being wise lately, but I do care about you and I wish you the best of luck. Until we link again… stay positive. You’re going to be fine.
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