Good morning cross watcher, how are we doing this early in the morning? I’m writing to you as a sleep-deprived man that keeps getting waken up by random fireworks throughout the neighborhood at odd hours in the night (it’s 3:24 am as we speak), that and with businesses being back up with very little drivers around they tried to charge me double to go to work so I declined. As to why these fireworks are happening this early in June is a mystery to me because I would’ve expected this towards the end of June nearing the 4th of July, I understand last week as their way to fight back again the police (when the protesting was hot) but this is ridiculous because the cops won’t even try to locate so they could get away with it. I’ve been documenting the fireworks happening and it usually starts around 8 pm, it lasted until midnight the night before but seeing how I can’t leave my house and it’s still happening is unacceptable. With no concern to barking dogs, crying babies, and those who need their rest so they could go to work the next morning (like me). I’m not angry, just tired of getting upset over situations I can’t control and this is one of them. Besides that, how have you been? Thank you for listening to my rant and sorry I went on and on but I needed to let it out. Wouldn’t it suck to have to graduate at this time? You can’t hug your friends to celebrate with good wishes without the fear to get them sick, drive up diploma pickups sound like a joke but it’s very real at this time.
I feel like I would be repeating myself if I explain “tired” again, but I will reveal that originally I wanted to use my mother’s eye as the source of the photo (but I know she wouldn’t agree to it). I shot my face at least 15 times and because of the lighting source it didn’t give off the expression that I was tired but I was, so I didn’t want the photo to seem like a lie. Body language was a better approach to it since physical expression seemed to be the next fit, originally I wanted to use a shot of a subway train I shot in black/white as the photo but for other insensitive reasons I’m not willing to share I decided against it. Before it was “tired” there were “grounded flashbacks”, I was in DTLA just a mere hour or two before the protest just started. My mother was telling me stories about the first race riot she encountered in her teens and she was telling me this at the peak of the new protests were starting, she asked me to keep my emotions in check and to not become expressional during this time because I knew she was hurting too so I kept my word. With me being silent gave others the impression that “if you’re not with me, you’re against me” type of vibe, I expressed on social media that I wouldn’t speak on the topic and lost 2 followers within the hour. So I tried to write it for myself but as I was starting to write I felt the angst and frustration starting to sore and I had to stop myself from continuing when I opened it the next day I decided to leave it incomplete because even though it would’ve been a powerful entry it wasn’t worth being mentality drained to dragging myself to finish it. I’m not saying the topic wasn’t worth it (it needs to be said) but I didn’t like what it was doing to my spirit so I had to stop it, I hope you understand. But to everybody else that’s PEACEFULLY protesting at this time, I’m with you in spirit.
There’s more that I want to say but I’m very tired and I’m going to try and go back to sleep, I hope another firecracker doesn’t wake me up because sleeping in June seems to be a mission. Before I leave I would like to say thank you again for checking up on me, it’s been a rough time. Keep doing what you’re doing, you’re doing great and don’t let nobody else tell you otherwise. Until we link again….. here’s a outtake from “tired”
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