Good morning cross watcher, how have things been with you? I hope things with you have been okay, I know we’ve had a really hard week considering everything that’s been going on with the news. Considering the virus and the battles with police brutality, the mind can only take so much. I really….. have not been well, and I can’t put it into words but I’ve been mentally and spiritually fatigued with everything that’s been happening. I haven’t been speaking to anybody about my thoughts and emotions regarding the issue because it’s hard for me to put them into words, I can’t even speak to you about it with you.. the person who is willing to listen to me. I refuse to speak with unprocessed emotions, even at this point, I have nothing to really say. I tried to make an entry about it and I couldn’t, and speaking about anything seems insensitive. There’s another story I want to write about that took place a month ago, I might focus on that.
Today is my best friend’s birthday, she turns 32 today. Even though she’s not in my life and she wants nothing to do with me, I still wish her the best. I’m not saying this out of anger, spite, or regret, just someone genuinely believes that she could accomplish anything and stood by her side until the end. I hope within the year she does something great that’ll make her happy as well as the people in her life now, no matter what I know she’ll do something amazing. That’s the best I could say right now, all of a sudden it hit me that speaking about someone that doesn’t care if I succeed or not might have been a good idea. I still meant every word that I said though, I hope she’s happy. Anywho, I’m going to end it up. I’ve been feeling defeated in life and having a hard time picking myself up. I promise I’ll write another story soon, it’ll be a good one. Until we link again, things will get better… I don’t know when but it will. I am not okay.
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