the empty seat

  I always made sure that whenever I did something successful that she was always there along for the ride, I was not one to ditch those who helped me to be where I am and she always made sure that I never failed. She was my backbone for all these years throughout my progress, throughout my highs and lows in photography working with those who came and gone. Not only was she my muse but she was my “acting” manager as well, she would provide the alternate outlook on certain shots and how they could be viewed differently. We were the favorite team among peers, seeing us together guaranteed others that they were going to have a good time during photo shoots and events. However, her absence unmotivated me to venture into my successes alone. Since I have no one to share it with, some recent accomplishments felt empty and unfulfilled. I’d like the give a couple of examples if you don’t mind…

  We fell in love with a band together, and thankfully the band loves us too (sorta). We’ve been supportive of them from the beginning, and our support for them rarely goes unannounced in return. It was to the point where I was invited to shoot for them for a show and the only condition I asked was that she was there too, and to that they happily obliged. After a failed show one month later, she and I unfortunately departed. I had the opportunity to shoot them again 2 months after our feud, that show happened to be the redemption I had been looking for. It was the best show I’ve ever attended and shot of them, the only thing that was missing was she wasn’t seeing what I was seeing. Even though I was having the best time witnessing and documenting this once in a lifetime event, without her by my side I felt unsuccessful here and there.  Although the show must go on, it was still one of the best experiences I ever had.

  A French producer we both were fans of was going to make an appearance at our favorite record store, coincidentally she was a much bigger fan than I was. Despite our differences at the time I still wondered if she was going to be there to see him, I wouldn’t want her to miss this opportunity to see his performance. His set was amazing, played a lot of nostalgia hits as well as his own. Unfortunately, she never showed up. This was an experience I wish she could’ve seen for herself, I know she would’ve enjoyed it. I also visualized how it would’ve been like if we were on better terms attending this show, seeing that we both were fans of his music it would’ve been one of the best ways to end the decade.  Then that’s when reality kicks in and you have to accept that magical moments such as this has to be experienced by yourself from now on and then some.  She was more than just someone that was just there, she was an important part of my craft.  Now I have to share my gift with the world without her, in return it makes me feel like the loneliest person in the world.