the distant acclaim

  In the early 2000s, my father had invited me a couple of times to sleep in his car next to the Santa Monica Pier and to listen to the waves until it puts us to sleep. This was something I wouldn’t understand until my early 20’s, somewhere around my first steps into photography. I can’t really pinpoint what year it was exactly, but I noticed how soothing and calming the crash of the waves were to my spirit. Like they were washing away my troubles, whatever sorrows or heartaches I had. I wouldn’t say that it rejuvenated me because that’s far from the truth, but it reassured me that everything will eventually be alright. The pounding sounds from the waves being washed away felt like it was licking the wounds to whatever was troubling me at the time, to tell me that someone somewhere hopes that I’m doing okay. On the same day as my father’s passing, I returned to the same place to stare into the darkness of the sea to listen to the sounds that he’d been intending for me to hear all these years. I’m forever thankful to my best friend and her brother for taking me there that night, and to my father for showing me this gift that I discovered much much later. 

  Whenever I feel at my lowest or when I don’t feel like things are going my way, the waves of the water tell me that I’ll be alright. Whenever I feel like the world is not in my favor or when my peers don’t see what I see, the crash of the tides tell me that it’s okay to follow in your own path. Whenever I feel like the world doesn’t want to accept me or when I feel outcasted from everybody around me, the ocean is telling me that I’m safe with the waves. Whenever I feel lost in life and I don’t know what to do or where to go, the sounds are telling me to trust my heart wherever I venture. Whenever I feel at my best or at my worst, the calmness of the waves tells me that I’m not alone and that they’ll never leave me.  Whenever I miss my dad and I want to thank him for telling me about this also that I’m sorry for not taking his invitations much sooner, he tells me that he never left. Because whenever I feel like I’m not accomplished or when I want to give up, the waves are applauding while telling me to keep going.