retreat

   One thing that I’ll always pride myself in is that whenever I say I will keep my word I always stick to it, but the one thing I don’t make is “promises”.  Even though I’d like to be as reliable as possible to others, I know the feeling of a broken promise that’s why I try my best to avoid that word.  The recovery from that is pretty unbearable, makes you not want to take anyone else seriously.  I’m saying all this from years of experience with my father, as much as I love him.. talk is cheap and actions spoke louder than words when it comes to him.  In today’s society I know we live in a place of busy schedules and we don’t have time for everything or everybody, but I’m a firm believer in keeping your word when it comes to the next person.

   Not too long ago, I had a pretty big DJ set at an infamous location in the heart of Hollywood... only 5 people showed up.  Don’t get me wrong, 5 is a good number!  But the many people on social media made it seem like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity and even stated that they would attend... and nothing.  A few months after that I was invited to smaller a DJ set, someone said they would show but didn’t.  It was from that day forward that I learned not to expect anything anybody says, even if they say that they would.  I sleep with my phone off of vibrate because you never know when that certain someone needs a voice at a dire time in their lives, me losing sleep could be saving someone’s life with a phone call away (maybe not that dramatic but you get the point).

    Here’s a bizarre question.  Have you ever taken back an apology?  Or not taken an apology seriously... especially if it was your own?  I’m the kind of person that hopes that if someone apologizes that they learn or change from it, careful to not repeat the same mistakes that hurt someone else.  That happened to me recently, and it left me completely blindsided.  Where 2 parties made careless mistakes, apologized for it (at least I did on my end), then became completely ghosted.  The part that hurts the most was that there was potential for us to be fixed and even asked how they could fix it then.. (poof) gone.  I’m not even angry about it, just hurt.  It makes me not want to trust anybody ever again, but I can’t shut out the people that actually want to help.  My father used to tell my mother: “Not everybody is you”, coincidentally my best friend told me the same.  Just because other people let you down doesn’t mean that you have to do the same to others, because they’re not me and that’s okay.  I’m going to keep being the best I can for everybody else, you have my word on that.